Partner and neutral pictures differ in multiple ways: partner pictures were familiar to the participants, elicited emotional feelings, displayed at least one familiar person, and may have displayed the participant him-/herself. None of the participants reported the use of reappraisal by thinking about negative future scenarios. develop trust and intensify connection. getting and how you are being treated, read your partner's need. Seeking social support was less popular in the current Dutch sample than in the US sample in Study 1. Thirty-two participants (18â30 yrs, M = 21.4, 7 men) who were in love by self-report were recruited from the University of Maryland community in the US. In addition, the pictures ensure high ecological validity, as the partner is typically encountered in a wide variety of contexts and with varying facial expressions. Even though the LPP was reduced by love up-regulation at the group level, participants who actually showed a more enhanced LPP amplitude as a result of love up-regulation in this time window also showed a greater decrease in negative affect as a result of love up-regulation. The use of cognitive reappraisal to regulate love feelings is related to the notion that cognitive processes, including making attributions, are associated with relationship satisfaction [36, 37]. really needing? Respondents completed the Love Attitudes Scale and a questionnaire ⦠Department of Psychological Sciences, University of MissouriâSt. For valence ratings, the main effects of Picture, F(1,38) = 9.9, p = .003, and Group, F(1,38) = 7.7, p = .008 were modulated by a significant Picture x Group interaction, F(1,38) = 20.7, p < .001. One reason why love would not be an emotion is that it elicits different emotions depending on the situation. The evidence suggests that love is a universal Learn good communication skills. We define love regulation as the use of behavioral or cognitive strategies to change the intensity of current feelings of romantic love. For more information about PLOS Subject Areas, click There is a mythology in our culture that love just happens. It would also be interesting to examine the effectiveness of behavioral and cognitive strategies other than reappraisal for regulating love feelings, including distraction, avoidance, and undertaking (new) activities with the beloved. We focus on the intensity of infatuation and attachment rather than relationship outcomes, since love feelings do not occur exclusively in the context of romantic relationships [14]. The relationship and break-up groups did not differ in how long they had known their partner for, how long ago their love feelings had started, and the duration of their relationships. People were also able to down-regulate their love feelings by thinking about negative aspects of their partner and/or relationship and imagining negative future scenarios. Finally, a third research line has shown that people think more favorably of their romantic partner than objectively justified [32, 33]. Evolved traits such as intuitive skills have allowed individuals to quickly evaluate a suitable sexual partner in about 100 milliseconds (Olson and Marshuetz, 2005; Todorov, 2008; Willis and Todorov, 2015). Therefore, in addition to subjective self-reports, we used event-related potentials (ERPs) as a more objective measure of love regulation success. When instructed to up-regulate love feelings by thinking about positive aspects of the partner or the relationship or imagining positive future scenarios, participants reported increased levels of attachment. Some participants even stated that love feelings should not be up-regulated to maintain long-term relationships, because declining love feelings would indicate that the relationship is not meant to be. Correspondingly, research on long-term romantic love has shown that married couples who engaged in novel and challenging activities together reported increases in love, closeness, and relationship quality [69, 70]. skills. Psychology Today © 2020 Sussex Publishers, LLC. This hypothesis shows how love regulation is theoretically distinct from emotion regulation. This article examines cognitive links between romantic love and creativity and between sexual desire and analytic thought based on construal level theory. It has been shown that people prefer to use distraction over reappraisal in situations in which emotions are very intense [63], which is often the case during heartbreak. Still, the instructions mentioned âlove feelingsâ whereas the ratings mentioned âinfatuationâ and âattachmentâ, which may have made our expectations a little less obvious. Some strategies seemed specific for changing the intensity of love feelings, rather than for regulating emotions or maintaining relationships. Previous work suggests that doing exciting things with the beloved may indeed be a successful strategy for love up-regulation [67, 68]. Love down-regulation decreased the LPP amplitude between 700â3000 ms in participants who were in a romantic relationship, which indicates that love down-regulation reduced the affective and motivational significance of, and the resulting motivated attention to the partner. For example, the partner wearing a yellow shirt and standing next to a friend on a picture could inspire the participant to up-regulate love feelings by thinking âI love that yellow shirt heâs wearingâ and to down-regulate love feelings by thinking âHe is always hitting on that friend, and he might cheat on me one dayâ. Participants completed a love regulation task, see Fig 1, while their electroencephalogram (EEG) was recorded. People who have just experienced a break-up, in contrast, would benefit from love down-regulation, because that could help them cope with the break-up. No, Is the Subject Area "Event-related potentials" applicable to this article? I love chocolate (or skiing). Moreover, the break-up group tended to have experienced less positive affect during the past two weeks and had experienced more negative affect in the past two weeks and at the start of the testing session than the relationship group. These preconceptions of, and strategies for love regulation were replicated in two independent samples. Correspondingly, we have shown that the LPP is enhanced in response to pictorial and verbal beloved-related information compared to control information [32, 43, 44]. First, we conducted a pilot study (Study 1) and then we conducted another study (Study 2) to confirm the findings of the pilot study. Two participants reported that they could not decrease love feelings. Unlike the self-reported infatuation and attachment levels, the LPP amplitude is not a direct measure of love intensity. Examples of other reappraisal strategies were thinking that time will heal, finding someone else to love, or focusing on positive aspects of oneself or oneâs life. The down-regulation effect in the LPP amplitude did not reach significance in participants that had experienced a break-up, which is ironic because love down-regulation might benefit them more than people who are in a happy relationship. When applicable, the degrees of freedom were corrected using the Greenhouse-Geisser correction. In order to help define this idea of love, several books and numerous research articles were consulted, and interviews were conducted with faculty of The University of Rhode Island. In short, several behavioral and cognitive strategies were used in the contexts of heartbreak and long-term relationships. Both reappraisal strategies (i.e., focusing on positive aspects of the beloved/relationship and thinking about positive future scenarios), trust, and spending time apart from the beloved were mentioned by some participants. The break-up groups did tend to report lower relationship quality than the relationship group. Know that love is a learned skill, not something that comes from The present study examined the association of love attitudes with the initiation, maintenance, and dissolution of relationships. believe that love is something that sweeps us off our feet. depressed reality. Romantic love strikes virtually everyone at least once (i.e., its lifetime prevalence approaches 100%) [1] and has a great impact on our lives. So, the LPP amplitude in response to a picture of the partner indicates how emotionally or motivationally significant the partner is and how much attention is being paid to him/her. Participants were not informed of the exact research purpose or hypothesis before testing, but they were instructed to increase or decrease their love feelings using cognitive reappraisal. It was expected that love up-regulation would make the relationship group feel more positive, while love down-regulation would make them feel more negative. Love is as critical for your mind and body as oxygen. Help someone else. Arousal ratings showed no significant effects involving the factor Regulation, all ps > .26. When instructed to down-regulate love feelings by thinking about negative aspects of the partner or the relationship or imagining negative future scenarios, participants reported decreased levels of infatuation and attachment, as expected. Finally, the relationship and break-up groups did not differ in their habitual use of reappraisal and suppression. Love regulation did not change subjective arousal (cf. Another two electrodes were attached to the left and right mastoids. During the first love-year, serotonin levels gradually return to normal, and the âstupidâ and âobsessiveâ aspects of the condition moderate. Search across a wide variety of disciplines and sources: articles, theses, books, abstracts and court opinions. In addition, there tended to be a main effect of Self/People, F(1,38) = 3.9, p = .056. For example, love is associated with positive emotions such as euphoria [2] and romantic relationships enhance happiness and life satisfaction [3]. Many participants listed multiple strategies in response to each of the four open strategy questions. This was expected, as down-regulation of love feelings for a current long-term partner is usually undesirable. Infatuation, attachment, valence, and arousal ratings after each block. Other than the above-mentioned difference in the context of undertaking (new) activities, there were no obvious differences between the relationship and break-up groups. In the context of heartbreak, participants mostly used distraction, social support, and reappraisal. Pearson correlation coefficients were computed between the seven perceived control scores and the two ERQ subscales across groups. Romantic love is deemed to be of a higher metaphysical and ethical status than sexual or physical attractiveness alone. In the four open strategy questions, we did not ask participants about the effectiveness of the strategies they listed. As expected, participants had the preconception that love is somewhat uncontrollable, as indicated by their scores on the series of questions assessing the perceived controllability of love feelings. In two studies, we systematically examined preconceptions about, strategies for, and the feasibility of explicit regulation of love feelings. As a In addition, we used two-sided tests even when we had an a priori directional hypothesis. Human beings are social beings that exist within relationships. In the 700â1000 ms time window, the up-regulation effect in the LPP amplitude was negatively correlated with the up-regulation effect in negative affect, r(34) = -.40, p = .015, see Fig 8. Scalp topographies of the differences between passive viewing of partner and neutral pictures, separately for both groups. The break-up group experienced more negative affect after passive viewing of partner than neutral pictures, p = .006, while the relationship group did not, p = .69. it is love when it's simply distraction and infatuation. One consequence is that when we hit real love we become upset and who that person is, and by being able to represent yourself. Moreover, a few participants reported that they are unable to decrease love feelings when heartbroken. The study was approved by the Institutional Review Board of the University of Maryland and written informed consent was obtained. For the same reason, differences in picture content between the two groups could not confound the differences in regulation effects between groups. Mean (SD) perceived control over seven aspects of love. See Tables 1 and 2 for the regulation strategies reported. The enhanced LPP indicates that love up-regulation enhances the affective and motivational significance of, and the resulting motivated attention to the (ex-)partner. It is important to note that the ERP reflects brain activation elicited by events, which are the presentations of partner and neutral pictures in this case. The 32 Ag-AgCl active electrodes were placed upon the scalp by means of a head cap (BioSemi), according to the 10â20 International System. I love my wife (or mother or child or friend). Distraction was used more to feel better, while reappraisal by focusing on the negative aspects of the beloved/relationship was used more to decrease love feelings. Love feelings can also be stronger than desired. Publication Info Indeed, falling out of love is the primary reason for divorce [17]. The Use your own document to search for articles and books. their needs, the better you are going to do in love. We present the concept of explicit love regulation, which we define as the use of behavioral and cognitive strategies to change the intensity of current feelings of romantic love. Scholarly articles are written by experts in the field and, additionally, peer reviewed by a panel experts in the field. The average time since the break-up was 3.0 months (range = 0.5â13.5). Interpreting the LPP amplitude as reflecting the affective and motivational significance of, and the resulting motivated attention to a stimulus [42], the significantly reduced LPP amplitude for up-regulation between 700â3000 ms in participants who were in a romantic relationship suggests that, even though up-regulation initially (i.e., between 300â400 ms) increases the significance of, and attention to a current partner, it reduces it eventually (i.e., after 700 ms). The more love up-regulation enhanced the LPP amplitude between 700â1000 ms, the greater the decrease in negative affect by love up-regulation. It is therefore important that a second line of research has shown that people can use cognitive strategies to regulate their motivations, including sexual arousal [25], excitement about monetary reward [26â29], and craving for alcohol, food, and cigarettes [30, 31]. As mentioned in the introduction, Study 2 also included a love regulation task to test the feasibility of love regulation. Love is a universal emotion that has become the basis of marriage and family for many societ - ies, which researchers continue to explore. In two studies, we examined preconceptions about, strategies for, and the feasibility of love regulation. As in Study 1, some strategies seemed specific for feeling better during heartbreak (i.e., emotion regulation) or for maintaining long-term relationships, while strategies such as reappraisal by focusing on the negative aspects of the beloved or the relationship and undertaking (new) activities with the beloved were used to down- and up-regulate love feelings, respectively. Participants also completed the Positive Affect Negative Affect Schedules (PANAS) twice, once about the last two weeks and once about this moment [52]. Subsequently, participants answered four open questions about the use of behavioral and cognitive strategies in the contexts of heartbreak and long-term relationships. There are always core differences between two people, no matter how Participants also completed the Infatuation and Attachment Scales (IAS) [14], and the Passionate Love Scale (PLS) [50] to assess the intensity of infatuation and attachment. For brevity, we will use the words âpartnerâ and ârelationshipâ in the remainder of the paper regardless of whether the relationship was ongoing or had dissolved. ... Love by Lauren Slater Masters of Love by Emily Esfahani Smith The Limits of Friendship by Maria Konnikova. A negative up-regulation effect in negative affect means a reduction in negative affect due to love up-regulation. Positive affect after the three blocks with partner pictures showed a main effect of Regulation, F(2,76) = 21.3, ε = .94, p < .001, which was modulated by a significant Regulation x Group interaction, F(2,76) = 8.4, ε = .94, p = .001. However, also participants who had recently experienced a break-up unexpectedly experienced more unpleasant feelings after love down-regulation. A one-sample t-test showed that this was significantly lower than 5 (= neutral), t(39) = -2.2, p = .032, which suggests that participants perceive love feelings as uncontrollable. It could be that the five-point rating scale we used was too coarse to detect any changes in arousal due to love regulation. Recommended Citation The responses to the four open strategy questions were analyzed qualitatively. ideal is misplaced. Importantly, people were able to up-regulate their love feelings by thinking about the positive aspects of their partner and/or relationship and imagining positive future scenarios. It is of course important to dissociate between the concept of love regulation and the well-established concept of emotion regulation. In this study, we only tested the short-term effects of love regulation. Second, in order to not be too statistically conservative in this explorative study, we did not correct for the number of statistical tests employed. Love and Logic is a method of working with students which was developed by educational expert Jim Fay, child psychiatrist Foster W. Cline, M.D., and Charles Fay, Ph.D. Love and logic has many tools for educators, principals and districts that promote healthy parent/teacher and teacher/student relationships and positive school wide discipline. differences surface. While communication/honesty was used more to maintain long-term relationships than to prevent love from declining, undertaking (new) activities with the beloved was mostly used to prevent love from declining. Having determined that someone is attractive at first sight, an individual may become emotionally attached to that person and communicate their affection via a copulatory gaze, in which ⦠Why Love Has Wings and Sex Has Not: How Reminders of Love and Sex Influence Creative and Analytic Thinking (J.A. Participants perceived feelings of attachment as more controllable than feelings of infatuation and they felt more in control of the intensity of love feelings than of who they are in love with. Sensitivity to rejection is a cardinal feature of depression. Even though self-reports gain a unique insight into what people experience, they also suffer from social desirability biases and demand characteristics [40, 41]. way and you can find and keep the love that you need. For more information about PLOS Subject Areas, click Because the LPP begins in the time range of the classic P300 [19] and can last as long as the stimulus duration [56], the ERP was quantified by mean amplitude measures in four time windows based on previous work [47, 48, 56â58]: 300â400 ms, 400â700 ms, 700â1000 ms, 1000â3000 ms. For each time window, mean amplitudes measures at Fz, Cz, and Pz were subjected to two ANOVAs. The interactions involving the factors Picture and Group were not significant in any of the time windows, all Fs < 1, ns, which indicated that the ERP response to the partner compared to the neutral pictures did not differ between the relationship and break-up groups. Romantic love, though often difficult to define, includes the development of a strong emotional bond â known as âattachmentâ â sexual attraction and care giving. To summarize, love regulation decreased positive affect in the relationship group, although down-regulation decreased positive affect more than up-regulation. To explore any associations between the LPP amplitude and self-reports measures, Pearson correlation coefficients were computed between regulation effects in the LPP amplitude and regulation effects in infatuation ratings, attachment ratings, valence ratings, arousal ratings, positive affect, and negative affect, across groups. See Table 3 for the other love characteristics. You do that by understanding where the other person is coming from, Counts and percentages of participants reporting the use of certain regulation strategies in the context of long-term relationships. The neutral stimuli were 30 neutral pictures displaying humans from the International Affective Picture System (IAPS) [53] with neutral normative valence (M = 5.4, SD = 0.5) and low normative arousal (M = 3.5, SD = 0.5) ratings, see S1 Text. The early phase of love is quite differentâ from later phases. We used the late positive potential (LPP) amplitude as an objective index of regulation success. Most depressed people don't love For more information, please contact lawcls@hofstra.edu. I love doing philosophy (or being a father). The results of this first exploratory study show that people perceive love feelings as neither controllable, nor uncontrollable (or as somewhat uncontrollable, if anything). Infatuation is typically most intense at the early stages of love after which it decreases relatively quickly [13â15] and attachment takes some time to develop [13â15] after which it decreases over the course of decades [16]. 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